Youtube Conspiracy

There are so many conspiracy theories out there. I thought I'd add my own to this unique school of thought. So here it is:

Social networking sites like Myspace gave voice and personalization to millions of people. They had, however, a problem. There was no video.

Enter Youtube. This video giant has taken over the video industry. Any indie music song to a little known advertisement ran once make their way onto this site. It is viewed worldwide. There is a comment section underneath every video. This is where my conspiracy lies.

Free thought was gaining too much ground. The small group of ultra-powerful rulers of the earth (maybe freemasons, but who really knows) did not like this. People (the general populace) were starting to get a voice, one which could be spread to millions, even billions sometimes via the internet. People were gaining faith in humanity and believing in something better than our current situation. Dissent was at all time levels. Videos like Loose Change and Zeitgeist were starting to scratch the surface. Only even they had no idea how thick the plot was and how much effort was in place to keep the sheep happy in their little field called earth.

People started to question authority. They started to question their beliefs. And that had to be stopped. So...

Any video on Youtube which showed a thread of dissent or intrigue was immediately hijjacked with a mass of comments of which were dumber than what your average three year old could come up with. Your video stating that you should think and question authority now was filled with comments about aliens, menaingless hatred towards certain politicians (ie Bush) and even invitations to come check out young, horny girls on their webcams. The videos lost credibility and people were back to getting all their knowledge from authority figures.

So basically, we are a virus. That is my theory. We are here to fuck up the earth. We are decrepit filth. We are a rot on this planet. We suck up its lifeblood and turn it to waste. For the longest time, the earth has fought it off, like a healthy person fights off the flu. But we are too strong. There are too many. We are degrading the earth as fast as we can. Fuck global warming, that's a marketing ploy. If you can't look around you and find something wrong, something totally fucked up with this planet and with the way us humans run it, your gain? I guess. You can watch walls crumble and not see a thing. We are fighting over areas. Over territory. We want to do our job and we compete. Because we thrive off of this. And when this organism we call the earth is far too unlivable, we will spread like any good virus does. Contaminate a whole new species. Mars, the moon? Who fucking knows. But we're gonna. Or we will perish.
So, you might ask, what are these things we call good and bad? Why would we have religion? Well, it is so that we can further ourselves and propagate ourselves. We need to copy (sex) to survive. We need to spread (conquest) to fruit in the earth. We are like a mushroom. Our subways are spreading underground, we dig deep to get what we need, and we must remain on top of all of this to breathe, and to reproduce. Get it?

"We're devouring the lifestream, the round river, that biosphere from which our species evolved and upon which we still depend for subsistence.We are the snake feasting upon its own tail. "
-taken out of context from Chesh on www.shroomery.org message boards

and here's somebody (gooddrugguy) owning my theory (also from shroomery.org)

"I don't think so. Comparing a human being to a cancer is like comparing a ant bed to a pimple. Organisms exhist on this earth to absort energy, and that is exactly what we are doing. We construct all of our bullshit (dogma, architecture, ect) because that is just what humans do. Does this hurt the earth? I think you have to be one egocentric son of a bitch to think that human beings are any more disasterous to this earth than termites or moles. As an individual your perception of yourself is subjective, and while one guy might sit there and think in his head he is a genius or a god, to all the other eyes he is just another person. Humanity as a whole has a subjective conscounse, and we cannot step outside of our egocentric exhistence to really look at ourselves for what we are. "

So, wow, just had to rant. Some people gotta cry, I can't. I'm like Chuck muthafuckin Norris. I NEVER cry.

O Man

So I'm struggling to pay rent, what with the economy so low and all. I mean, the U.S. is slipping, meaning so is Canada. For fuck's sake, did you hear that they now have a black president? Fuck. He's gonna blow the budget on bling. Plus, he's probably an angry guy. I've met a lot of angry black guys. Something about racism, slavery and something called apartheid or whatever. Get over it!

So with the economy so fucked right now, I have thought of an idea. Not that new, but pretty easy. I'm going to start a cult.

But this isn't just any old cult. This is MY cult. And that means that it has to be extra special. So, I think I'll start by making people feel special. Like they deserve stuff for nothing. Maybe, I'll just get a bunch in a studio audience and give them away free shit. Like, under their chairs, for example. And I'll convince them my opinions on things like it is the ONLY opinion that matters. On, like, a daytime TV show. I'll raise money by.... ummmmmm.... O! A magazine! I will slowly take control of a small group of people, until I slowly have a whole target demographic in my clutch. Say, middle aged women, for example. So, how will I keep these people from finding out they're being brainwashed? By a bunch of shows with like minded narrow views. I'm thinking of a psychologist with a Texan accent.

Until next time (give me 5 minutes)

Lucky! You're Schizophrenic!!

I have always wondered what it would be like to be schizo. Wouldn't that be so cool? You could trip for free! A boring conversation could turn into talking with an angel of god. Waking up would be like getting high! You would just fall asleep to escape the crazy shit if it became too much.

Boring neighbors? Not anymore! They are now 34-eyed aliens! Fat? Not when all food is sprayed with chemicals by Nazi scientists kept in a secret laboratory by the US to keep the sheep stupid and lame.

And, women.... You think there isn't the right man out there for you? Well, think again! This one doesn't fall asleep after sex because the ceiling's caving in. He takes out the trash or you'll slip arsenic into his beer. And he doesn't cheat because you're the only one on his list of people he can trust. He's not even on that list!


And, yes, this post was meant to offend you. If it didn't congats! You have a sense of humour or don't watch too much TV.